April 25, 2017 (after a bath)

*Isobel wasn’t feeling well today- she had a stomachache and so stayed home from school. I gave her a bath after lunch, hoping it might make her feel better. She went to get dressed, and came back for me to finish drying her hair wearing a matching underwear set, a short royal blue fake fur sparkle vest, thigh high pink cheetah-print socks, and the gloves left over from her Blue Meanie Halloween costume. She was also wearing the pink beaded eyeglass chain she found at a yard sale this weekend, making her look like a tiny, eccentric librarian.*

“Hey, Is, how come you aren’t wearing pants?”

“Well… the pants fairy told me not to wear pants today.”

“Oh, well, that’s okay then, we don’t want to tussle with the pants fairy.”

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Thursday, March 31

*Isobel has an earache and is home from school. We curl up together with a big box of tissues and cuddle- then she says she wants to talk. I ask what she’d like to discuss, and she says…*

“Mommy. What can we make that isn’t made but we can use?”

“Like inventions?”

“Yeah, inventions.”

“Okay, Do you have an idea? You start.”

“Ummmm…. okay. What about tissues that fly around and come to blow your nose and then shoot into the garbage when they’re all snotty… like remote control tissues.”

“That’s an excellent idea. You should totally invent it.”

“What about you? Do you have an idea?”

“Yes. Socks that run themselves into the laundry basket when they get dirty.”

“Oooh, that’s a really good one!”

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March 13, 2017

*I’m cooking dinner, when…*

“Mommy, I have a question.”

“Okay.”

“Can you turn the clock to tomorrow and it’ll be tomorrow?”

“Uh, no. No, clocks only measure time, they don’t have anything to do with how time progresses. They just are helpful so you know what time it is… like I look at the clock so I know after an hour, it’s time to take the lid off the pot in the oven, and put the vegetables in, see? Or when we look at the clock every morning so we make sure you get to school on time. Time is what happens because the earth is always spinning.”

“But, what if I got a big rope to spin it faster?”

“That might work. Do you have a big rope?”

*Is goes running into the porch, where Dad is trying to finish his coffee…*

“Daddy! Can we go get a rope?”

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March 12, 2017

*During dinner, Isobel explains the ‘Quiet Game’ to me…*

“Okay, Mommy, now, nobody talks, or makes any noise with their body, including your mouth, and whoever makes noise first loses. Okay?”

I signal that I understand. Silently. I’m already so good at this game!

Is continues to eat her dinner, looking up at me after every bite. I keep quiet… until she shakes her head and her hair brushes the plate of food…

“Is, watch your hair!”

“Hahaha, I win the Quiet Game! Mom, did you want to win?”

“Nah, I’m not really into winning.”

“Oh, are you into losing, then?”

“Haha! Uh, no, not really…”

“I’m super-duper into winning.”

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January 23, 2017

*Out for brunch yesterday with some friends, and the woman at the table next to us stands up to leave. Isobel leans over to me and…*

“Hey, Mommy. Your big butt is still bigger than that lady’s big butt.”

“Thanks, Is.”

“You’re welcome!”

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January 16, 2017

*After her swimming lesson at the gym today, I’m drying Isobel’s hair in the changing room. She turns and wiggles her loose tooth (her first!!!! OMFG!) at me, and points out the new space between her teeth. As she’s doing this, a woman who’s already changed and on her way out, walks by us, overhears our tooth conversation, and says..*

“Wow! I wonder what the Tooth Fairy brings these days?”

*Is turns to me and shrugs, then back to the woman and says…*

“I’m not sure, it’s my first loose tooth.”

“Well, when I was a kid, I think we got a quarter or something like that.”

*We briefly discuss inflation and its possible affect on the Tooth Fairy’s current payout plan. After the woman leaves, Is turns to me and says…*

“Mommy. That lady believes in the Tooth Fairy.”

“Seems like it. That’s pretty nice.”

(Looking around, concern apparent on her face) “She didn’t hear me, right?”

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January 2, 2017

*Isobel nearly always comes in to draw on the big mirror in the bathroom while I’m taking a shower. Today was no exception- she drew a monster with a huge V on top of its head. It had three faces, and each face showed a big, happy smile. She held up three fingers and said…*

“This is how much faces the monster has!”
“He’s adorable! They’re all smiley. And it’s how many, not how much.””Oh, right, how many. Okay.”

“Right. Remember, much is if you can’t count something, and many if is you CAN count… like, how many fingers, or how much air…” I swing my hand around in the air, making figure eights.

“But, Mommy, you can count everything. Because it’s molecules.”

“Huh. Well, you got me there, kid. You’re right. But let’s say you don’t have the technology handy, such an electron microscope, right then to count something like air, so you’d say how much. Okay?”

“Okay. You still like my monster?”
“Very much.”

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August 29,2016

*Is and I are discussing watching the third Harry Potter movie when we haven’t finished reading the book yet.*

“Look, you gotta read the book first, before you see the movie.”
“Why?”
“Well, there’s so much more to the book, if you don’t read it first, you miss some stuff the movie might refer to… and the movies are never, ever as good as the books.”
“Oh. So, do the Hebrew people do it different?”

*At this I stop loading the dishwasher and look up. Holy shit, this kid is so quick, I thought. Back when she started to learn to read, she often wanted to turn the book over and start from the other way (maybe because she’s left handed?)… I had to explain many times the books always open the same way, and then I told her, ‘oh, I guess Hebrew books go this way, they open like this and read in this direction, but not English. It’s a different language. Like Chinese, you read that from top to bottom.’ But I think we only talked about that one time…*

“Oh, no, Jewish people, not Hebrew people, and Hebrew is the language. Those are the books you read the other way, is that what you mean?”
“Yeah! Do they watch the movie first?”
“No. They read the book first, too.”

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July 23, 2016

*Out of the blue, Isobel asks me this question in an airport bathroom…*

“Mommy, do you love everybody in the whole entire world?”

*I had to stop and consider an appropriate answer. My initial response was, ‘Fuck no”- but I needed to rethink it. What is she trying to learn by asking me this? She looks up at me, curious, with her bright, honest, hazel eyes.
So I said yes.*

“Yes. Yes, Is, I love everybody in the whole entire world, because we are all family, we are all connected, and we all need each other. There are quite a few people I’d like to address some things with, but yes, baby, I love everybody.”
“Me, too.”
“I had a feeling you did.”

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December 9, 2015

*Last week at school was the letter ‘D’ week- and the kids had doughnuts for a treat for snack one day. Previously, Is has refused every doughnut we’ve ever offered her. Also, she won’t eat cake.*

“Mommy! We had a new snack today!”
“Really?”
“Yes! It was white… and yellow inside. And you bite it and it tastes delicious!”
“Those were doughnuts, cake doughnuts.”
“Wow. Can we get some of those?”
“Sure thing.”

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