May 11, 2017

*After school, Is usually has a snack and watches something on her iPad, then does her homework. Today, she’s watching a show called ‘The Annoying Orange.’ I don’t always let her watch this one, but today’s episode seemed harmless. I was wrong, of course. They’re telling jokes about Uranus and pooping… and this leads to questions…*

“Mommy. What’s funny about Uranus?”
“Well, it’s the name of a planet, U-R-A-N-U-S, but it’s also the proper name for the end of your large intestine, where the poop comes out, that’s your anus. A-N-U-S. So, it can be funny when you confuse them is a joke, see?”
“Oh. So Uranus is a planet?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm. Does it poop?”
“Uh…”

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April 24, 2017

*Yesterday, I took Isobel to the park. She was happy she found a friend from school to play with for a while- they had to leave before we did, and so Is went on an ‘acorn hunt’, filling my pockets with acorns she found amid the wood chips. When we got home, she wanted to wash them, so I gave her a bowl and some water to work with while I started dinner. She wandered away for a bit, and when she came back, I noticed the bowl was full of suds.*

“Mom! I added soap to the acorns, so they’ll be really clean!”
“Uh…”
“Wasn’t that smart? These are probably the cleanest acorns in the whole world right now.”
“Yep, pretty smart. And I bet you’re right. Well, let me know when you’re done and you can rinse them in this colander to get all the soap off.”
“Okay, Mommy…”

*She continues to work on the acorns for a bit, then we rinse them in the kitchen sink. Then she runs off and comes back with two hand towels, so she can dry them with one and then arrange them neatly on the other. I’m still cooking, so my back is to her as she works at the kitchen table. Then I hear the screen door opening.*

“Whatcha doin’, Is?”
“I’m throwing the acorns out for the squirrels!”
“The ones you just spent half an hour washing?”
“Yes! I wouldn’t want them to have to eat dirty acorns.”

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October 12, 2014

*During Is’s good morning pee-pee*

“Mommy, why do we drink so much water that pee-pee comes?”
“We have to drink water, since our bodies are made of a lot of water. The pee-pee helps flush out stuff your body doesn’t need, like extra vitamins and toxins.”
“But, why do we have to make pee-pee all the time?”
“Making pee-pee helps to keep your body healthy.”
“Oh. That’s okay, then. I don’t mind it.”

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October 11, 2014

“Mom… why are the little mouses racing?”
“I think they’re running away from the cat, Is.”
“Why?”
“Because some cats eat mice.”
“What? Why?”
“Well, at home, they usually eat cat food, but in the wild, they eat birds, and mice, frogs and snakes, little animals like that.”
“They should just go to the food store.”
“They don’t have mice at the food store.”
“Why don’t they have mice at the food store? Where will the cats get them?”

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September 18, 2014

*Worried about the return of the dream-groundhog (which I am now convinced is Is’s Spirit Animal, since she talked about it ALL DAY to everyone within earshot), we collected toy fruit & placed a large basket of apples, peppers, & bananas by her bed before bedtime*

**Upon awakening with a runny nose & cold**

“Mommy! The groundhog didn’t come back last night!”
“Great!”
“But why?”
“I have no idea.”
“I know why. He was too tired.”

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September 13, 2014

*Trying to set up a day to take the kids apple picking, Is overhears me on the phone*

“What do apples hang on, Mom?”
“Trees.”
“They don’t hang on ropes.”
“That’s right.”
“Why?”
“Because trees are alive, and apples trees grow apples. Ropes aren’t alive.”
“I want to go apple picking! I want to eat apples off the tree!”

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September 13, 2014

*This morning, we hear a cardinal outside on the fence*

“Mommy, why is he outside?”
“He lives out there, Is, he’s a wild bird.”
“He’s not a pet?”
“No, he’s wild. People don’t keep cardinals as pets.”
“But you had a bird as a pet.”
“Yes, I had a parrot. Also two parakeets. Those are different kinds of birds.”
“Where is it?”
“They all died, Is. I had them for a long time, and then they died. That happens with pets.”
“We don’t have a pet.”
“That’s true.”
“Why?”
“We just don’t have a pet right now, Is. I’m sure we’ll get one soon.”
“Okay. I want a flamingo!”
“Oh, Is, I told you, flamingos are wild birds, too. We can’t keep them as pets. Remember?”
“Well… I guess then we can get one dog… Two dogs. We can get two dogs, Mom.”

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September 12, 2014

*I was a few minutes early picking up Is today… so I pulled over in the shade of a big tree, opened all the windows, and made a phone call. As I sat there, I noticed some branches shaking on a pine tree in a yard next to my car… so I watched. Much to my surprise, a squirrel fell out of the tree a few seconds later. He jumped up immediately and ran back to the tree. I told Is about it when I picked her up*

“I never saw a squirrel fall out of a tree before, Is.”
“Me neither, Mommy. Mommy, why did he fall out of the tree?”
“I don’t know, Is… maybe he misjudged a distance or something, or just screwed up and fell out.”
“But why?”
“I’m really not sure, Is.”
“I know why.”
“Really? Tell me!”
“The leaves pushed him out.”

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