June 9, 2017- socks again.

*At dinner, Isobel is telling Vaughan and Daddy about the magic flying socks she’s invented. Vaughan is trying to follow her story…*

“See, the socks fly off my feet, then they go down the basement stairs, then they get in the um, washer, and then they get into the dryer, and then they get all folded up nice, and fly back up the stairs, and land perfectly in my drawer! Isn’t that great?”

Vaughan gets a sort of glazed-over look and takes a sip of his drink, apparently considering the magic socks.

Dad says, “You mean Mom?”

*That’s right- I am the magic behind the socks.*

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May 11, 2017

*After school, Is usually has a snack and watches something on her iPad, then does her homework. Today, she’s watching a show called ‘The Annoying Orange.’ I don’t always let her watch this one, but today’s episode seemed harmless. I was wrong, of course. They’re telling jokes about Uranus and pooping… and this leads to questions…*

“Mommy. What’s funny about Uranus?”
“Well, it’s the name of a planet, U-R-A-N-U-S, but it’s also the proper name for the end of your large intestine, where the poop comes out, that’s your anus. A-N-U-S. So, it can be funny when you confuse them is a joke, see?”
“Oh. So Uranus is a planet?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm. Does it poop?”
“Uh…”

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April 25, 2017 (after a bath)

*Isobel wasn’t feeling well today- she had a stomachache and so stayed home from school. I gave her a bath after lunch, hoping it might make her feel better. She went to get dressed, and came back for me to finish drying her hair wearing a matching underwear set, a short royal blue fake fur sparkle vest, thigh high pink cheetah-print socks, and the gloves left over from her Blue Meanie Halloween costume. She was also wearing the pink beaded eyeglass chain she found at a yard sale this weekend, making her look like a tiny, eccentric librarian.*

“Hey, Is, how come you aren’t wearing pants?”

“Well… the pants fairy told me not to wear pants today.”

“Oh, well, that’s okay then, we don’t want to tussle with the pants fairy.”

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April 24, 2017

*Yesterday, I took Isobel to the park. She was happy she found a friend from school to play with for a while- they had to leave before we did, and so Is went on an ‘acorn hunt’, filling my pockets with acorns she found amid the wood chips. When we got home, she wanted to wash them, so I gave her a bowl and some water to work with while I started dinner. She wandered away for a bit, and when she came back, I noticed the bowl was full of suds.*

“Mom! I added soap to the acorns, so they’ll be really clean!”
“Uh…”
“Wasn’t that smart? These are probably the cleanest acorns in the whole world right now.”
“Yep, pretty smart. And I bet you’re right. Well, let me know when you’re done and you can rinse them in this colander to get all the soap off.”
“Okay, Mommy…”

*She continues to work on the acorns for a bit, then we rinse them in the kitchen sink. Then she runs off and comes back with two hand towels, so she can dry them with one and then arrange them neatly on the other. I’m still cooking, so my back is to her as she works at the kitchen table. Then I hear the screen door opening.*

“Whatcha doin’, Is?”
“I’m throwing the acorns out for the squirrels!”
“The ones you just spent half an hour washing?”
“Yes! I wouldn’t want them to have to eat dirty acorns.”

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Saturday, April 22, 2017

*I recently had both my hips replaced, and so I keep a long-handled shoehorn with a dressing hook on one end to help me get dressed right after the surgeries. It’s still hanging in the bathroom. Is saw it today and grabbed it, deciding it’s time to play Shepherd…*

“Mommy, I’m a shepherd, and this is my hook thing.”
“It’s called a crook, what the shepherds use…”
“Oh, okay. This is my crook.”
“Do you know what shepherds use it for?”
“Um… putting on their socks?”

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Thursday, March 31

*Isobel has an earache and is home from school. We curl up together with a big box of tissues and cuddle- then she says she wants to talk. I ask what she’d like to discuss, and she says…*

“Mommy. What can we make that isn’t made but we can use?”

“Like inventions?”

“Yeah, inventions.”

“Okay, Do you have an idea? You start.”

“Ummmm…. okay. What about tissues that fly around and come to blow your nose and then shoot into the garbage when they’re all snotty… like remote control tissues.”

“That’s an excellent idea. You should totally invent it.”

“What about you? Do you have an idea?”

“Yes. Socks that run themselves into the laundry basket when they get dirty.”

“Oooh, that’s a really good one!”

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March 13, 2017

*I’m cooking dinner, when…*

“Mommy, I have a question.”

“Okay.”

“Can you turn the clock to tomorrow and it’ll be tomorrow?”

“Uh, no. No, clocks only measure time, they don’t have anything to do with how time progresses. They just are helpful so you know what time it is… like I look at the clock so I know after an hour, it’s time to take the lid off the pot in the oven, and put the vegetables in, see? Or when we look at the clock every morning so we make sure you get to school on time. Time is what happens because the earth is always spinning.”

“But, what if I got a big rope to spin it faster?”

“That might work. Do you have a big rope?”

*Is goes running into the porch, where Dad is trying to finish his coffee…*

“Daddy! Can we go get a rope?”

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March 12, 2017

*During dinner, Isobel explains the ‘Quiet Game’ to me…*

“Okay, Mommy, now, nobody talks, or makes any noise with their body, including your mouth, and whoever makes noise first loses. Okay?”

I signal that I understand. Silently. I’m already so good at this game!

Is continues to eat her dinner, looking up at me after every bite. I keep quiet… until she shakes her head and her hair brushes the plate of food…

“Is, watch your hair!”

“Hahaha, I win the Quiet Game! Mom, did you want to win?”

“Nah, I’m not really into winning.”

“Oh, are you into losing, then?”

“Haha! Uh, no, not really…”

“I’m super-duper into winning.”

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March 8, 2017 (dinnertime)

*Is, finishing dinner…*

“Mommy, can we play a game after dinner? I had a bad and boring day.”

“Um, sure, finish up and there’s still time before bed. What do you mean, your whole day was bad? And boring?”

“Well, I didn’t get to play any games. We played outside in school twice, but no games.”

“Huh. Sorry you had such a terrible, horrible, gameless day. What game do you want to play? Suspend, or maybe a card game…?”

“Hey, what if we made a new game? How about if we play Candy Land… but with fried chicken?”

“Sounds good to me! Might get a little smelly and greasy…”

“Fried Chicken Candy Land!”

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